Ever since I was 13 years old, I remember having a chest big enough that I felt uncomfortable. Imagine being in middle school and never once owning a bra that fits you. Imagine wearing shirts that are too big for you to hide how ill-fitting your bra is. Imagine needing to find a new shirt or dress for an event you are attending and not being able to find anything to fit you because the buttons blow out at the chest or the dress won't zip on the top. Of course, I had other struggles and strengths in my middle school years, but the size of my chest did not help anything.
In high school,
my chest got large enough that it caused chronic back pain. I had conversations with a close friend who advised I get a breast reduction; I could not have been older than 17 at the time. She told me that she know a woman who had a breast reduction when she was in her 40s and sustained permanent knots and pain in her back from when she had a large chest. At this point, I really was thinking about getting a reduction, but what time feels right to get such an invasive surgery when you are finishing high school and looking toward college - arguably one's most active stage of life?
College came and, wow! My boobs were still big.
In fact, they had gotten even bigger. I started buying Panache bras in the size 30H. Places like Victoria's Secret, where many women I knew could reliably get sized and fitted with a bra, lied to me about my size to fix me with bras that fit in their size range. I had one place in Fargo that I trusted to fit me: The Crystal Corset. But after I graduated, they switched locations and promptly ceased to exist. I finished college and I knew my bras were not fitting anymore. I needed to get resized. So I started going to Curvy Divas in Fargo, ND, which I highly recommend for anyone with specific bra needs. They fixed me with a Freya brand bra, size 28L. It was lace and DEADLY tight, but it separated my breasts and made me feel like the small person I am.
An aside for anyone thinking, "Just size yourself":
I mean, one could do that. The problem is that many bras are not true to size and people who are good at what they do at places like Crystal Corset and Curvy Divas will know which brands (and even specific types of bras within a brand) will fit small, large, or right on. They will know what bras will fit you and which will not more than even you will 9 times out of 10.
And so the years flew by and although there were times I am sure my chest size naturally grew smaller from physical activity and diet, my chest had always been ... uncomfortably large, and felt to me as if it steadily got larger since graduating from high school. Still, no time felt "right." Why?
Dance!
I could never bring myself to even entertain the thought of staying away from dance long enough to recover from a surgery as invasive as a breast reduction. No dancing for MONTHS? For me, dance was practically everything. Socialization, friendships, skill-building, a natural source of endorphins, physical exercise, a reason to keep my body healthy. Dance was my life. Then...
Social Dancing Took the Backseat, Evidently Leaving Room for the Surgery of a Lifetime
Something happened that no average layperson was actively planning for: a pandemic. Dance would not be happening any time soon. I did not think that it would be possible for me to get a breast reduction during this time since there was so much emphasis on only going to the doctor for procedures that were lifesaving or medically necessary. I didn't think that during a Pandemic in the year 2020 would be a wise time to get a breast reduction.
That is, until I saw a friend of mine be open about his double mastectomy. This is when I learned that my breast reduction would be considered a medically necessary procedure even during pandemic time. This was a HUGE relief for me because I could not social dance during a global pandemic anyway. The biggest concern about reduction recovery (dance) being off the table for other reasons anyway (Covid-19), I went all-in on trying to set up a breast reduction surgery in the beginning of August 2020.
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